Since then, my idea of being open to life has expanded quite a bit as I guide my children in life. What I want most for my children when they grow up are these four things: 1. to be of noble character, be kind, generous and true to themselves, 2. to only pursue their passions in life, never settle for mediocrity, to live their priorities , not obligations 3. to be readers (meaning they read to grow mentally and spiritually) all their lives,  and 4. find a partner (if they want one) who is also a reader.

With that in mind, what do I teach them about being open to life? For me, being open to life means embracing opportunities, enjoying people and experiencing emotions to the fullest. Life offers us an array of fascinating possibilities, what we do with them determines the quality of our lives.

Since I was very young, I was always a person who was enthusiastic about life and embraced life’s little nuances whole-heartedly. It has served me well, holistically, spiritually, physically, mentally and in my various relationships. A huge side effect has been that I am generally effervescent, and quite happy no matter what comes my way.

When I said experiencing emotions above, I actually meant all emotions. I have found that by being open to life, one of the best secrets to well being that I practice (this is obviously a work in progress) is to let emotions go through me rather than forcing myself to get through emotions or worse avoiding them completely. In order to rid oneself of negative emotions, avoidance or pretending one should not feel this way or that, does not really work. Feeling the emotion and surrendering to it and then letting it pass has always been my ally.

I want my children to understand that fear is a natural response in life, but there is such a thing as courage, which can be harnessed to do ‘the thing’ in spite of the fear. I want them to know that society and religion are good at imposing guilt on us for many things, but it is more important to know oneself and what one believes and more important why one believes it. I never want them to be paralyzed and not move forward in something they are passionate about because of outside forces.

How I do this is by constantly communicating with them about ideas I am reading about regarding these areas and encouraging them to read the books themselves. I also show them by example in everything I do and when I fail, more importantly, I discuss with them why and how I would do things differently.

I want to impart on my children a true appreciation for life and being open to its many miracles. I hope you will also learn to be truly open to life.

In the mean time, K has been sending Santa loads of letters and presents. So, the kids received an interesting letter from Santa (the kids names have been modified by me)… which I have included here:

August 23, 2010

Dearest K, D, M and H,

Thank you kids for all your letters since the beginning of 2010. K, you are the kid who has written me the most and I love it. I received your pile of wonderful letters last night and I knew I had to respond right away. You have a special talent for writing, please keep it up.

I have a special gift for you today, but before I talk about that, I want to let you know a few things. When it gets closer to Christmas, write me a letter with specifically what you want. I know you sent me a list already, but in case you all change your mind, I will await the new list by November.

About the pet you were asking for, I know you are lovely children who would look after the pet well, but I believe your hearts want something else. I have taken the liberty of enclosing something which will give you what you most desire right now. A little birdie told me what you wanted…. that you want another baby or even better twins. Since you children have a great power within you to attract what you really want…. you were able to attract this. I have enclosed a special pregnancy test, get your mother to follow the instructions on it and you will get a wonderful surprise. I’m not guaranteeing the twins, but don’t be surprised if you get exactly what your hearts desire.

With lots of love

Santa and his elves

Suffice it to say, I took the test and even though the test says wait 3 minutes, it took less than 10 seconds to show a positive result with two dark red lines, as it has been every other time I have been pregnant.

The bizarre thing was, when the cop pulled me over and asked for my license, I found in my purse next to my wallet a little kitchen knife. It was there from the day before because it was being transported back home from my parents’ house (my son had taken it to their house for some reason). The last thing I wanted was to have to explain that to a cop!! Anyway, I got my ticket and went on to my workout to be brutally worked by my fitness trainer for 2 hours. It was a good way to work off the feelings of getting the ticket.

This will remind me not to rush any where, to leave early, to drive serenely and be more aware of my speed.

I am still planning to put the interview with the two Florida coaches online, I just haven’t finished transcribing it. I hope really soon. I also want to start writing again soon, but the thoughts are still new and fresh and I am not ready to share yet.

Where would I go? I would want to go somewhere by the water, where I could relish the quiet under beautiful shady trees overlooking the ocean or a river or lake. Every morning, I would want to ride one of the owners’ horses toward the sunrise. I would want to ride for at least an hour and a half, more would be better. I would want to learn to and help groom the horse every day as well. The only thing I should add is that I would want really great home-cooked healthy meals to keep me going.

I am looking for such a place. Ideally, it would be even better if the ranch was owned by people who spoke very little English, but communicated in French or Spanish.

What would your ideal personal retreat/holiday be?

Let’s start with defining each of these terms;

Like-minded, according to http://dictionary.reference.com/ is “having a similar or identical opinion, disposition, etc.: a like-minded friend.”

Diverse, according to http://www.thefreedictionary.com/ is made up of distinct characteristics, qualities, or elements.

Well, I guess from where I am sitting, this is what I think and have found. In my journey, I generally have an abundance of the diverse-mind group, so I am not too concerned right now that I will  not have a mechanism to challenge myself constantly on why I am thinking what I am thinking and doing what I am doing. The diverse-minded people will constantly question me for my own good and keep me humble and constantly vigilant. They will also create a space in which I have to figure out why I believe what I do and therefore fuel my continued pursuit of that path or if I find I am in error in my choice I can then simply ditch that journey. Just to clarify, I will not tolerate the naysayer extremely negative type diverse-thinker for this reason. I have conviction in my choices, although as I have stated I have no problem getting into discussions about things. I love how eloquently these quotes describe my feelings: “If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done.”  by Dale Carnegie and “Do what you feel in your heart to be right. You’ll be criticized anyway.” by Eleanor Roosevelt.

Just to clarify, when I say like-minded people, I am talking about people, who like me, are on a journey to find the truth. The people I have deeply connected with have started this journey from different entry points, some from the financial side, some wellness, still others the spiritual path and of course leadership. There are others who started from human rights and liberty path as well, just seeking to know the truth, whatever it is. What fascinates me is that there seem to be these touchstones that this journey for truth takes us on. No matter where you start, you eventually reach all the stones, as long as you continue to seek. Most people I have deeply connected with are continuously thirsty for the truth and willing to journey on.

As I am relatively new in the pursuit of my purpose, living my truth, deepening my spirituality, becoming financial free, and embracing wellness in my consumption and fitness, as well as my ever growing desire to improve as a person, lover, parent and friend, I want to have mentors in my journey to help guide me, encourage me, question me as well as challenge me to grow. I seek companions to share my stories with as well as to learn from theirs. I seek like-minded people, for example, to learn from them how to overcome obstacles I am facing in my journey to live my purpose because they may have faced similar situations. I seek them to help me see that even if I fail today, someone I respect has done what I want to do and so I can pick myself up and continue on through their encouragement. I seek them for connection. I seek them to discuss how they share their unconventional spirituality with their children. The like-minded people I am attracting these days fascinate me partly because of the different and interesting journeys they have taken to get to similar places I am in (spiritually, mentally, politically, financially, and physically). They challenge me because they are ahead of me in some paths and I want to learn from them and I challenge them because they are behind me in other paths and I love to share the information which has helped me progress.

What amazes me is how quickly we connect with these people, we are on the same wavelength, traveling a similar journey. We connect, as in individually, the adults as well as the children. Also, as a couple Chuti and I have found great kinship recently. It is great to have this community.

For me, when I look back at my life, my closest friends have usually been male. I find I connect very easily with guys. I have many women friends, but only recently have I attracted deeper relationships with women who I click with and could literally chat non-stop with for months. When I say chat, I am not interested in discussing the weather or the latest trends or movies or that kind of stuff. I am meeting women with whom I am discussing spirituality, history, the Magna Carta, the law of attraction, changing careers, starting up businesses, buying real-estate, and the list goes on and on. Of course, we also discuss leadership, favorite books, and home-schooling.

Ultimately, I think you need both like-minded and diverse-minded people around you. In the choice between being a quitter, a camper or a climber in the journey of life, I choose climber day in and day out. In order to keep climbing and reaching for bigger and bigger goals, I need like-minded people to stimulate me, encourage me, show me how to avoid or overcome obstacles in my particular path, show me things I thought were impossible or unrealistic, and just challenge me to keep going. I also need diverse-minded people who question me, my motives, my thinking and push me to clarify what it is I want and more importantly why I want it. They help me extract my deepest purpose, by helping me peel off the unwanted layers I will quickly discard under their scrutinizing watch.

At the end of the day, ultimately I want to learn from both groups, so that when I am quiet with myself, I can dig deep inside and find both the encouragement and vision I need to move forward on the right path for me as well as question myself deeply and avoid wasting my time and energy on paths which do not serve my purpose. In essence, I want this journey to lead me to self-mastery.

I will leave you with link to a great blog post by one of my mentors Chris Brady on the very subject of self-mastery, a subject I hope to tackle in a post soon.

On Tuesday, February 2nd, Chuti went back to Winnipeg for some business meetings. And on Tuesday, February 16th, two weeks later, my mom came here as family seems concerned about me being here on my own (with 4 kids). Well, it’s been an interesting two weeks on my own with the kids. This would be why my blogging has taken a backseat.

The schedule we have been following is that we do school at night, this way we generally have some light work in the morning as well as violin practice. I would make our heavy meal for lunch and take snacks and sandwiches for supper (of course, the kids would eat more when we got home). We would have tennis after lunch for 3 – 4 hours.

While I was on my own, I have also had to do all the shopping, cleaning, and laundry. These were some of the things that Chuti did, but having to do all this (with 4 kids in tow) has been character building. I even got a babysitter, so that I could workout. Another thing Chuti took care of was all RV related stuff, electrical, mechanical and the like. Well, I’ve had to poke my head into RV related stuff and I’ve been proud of how I have met the challenge.

Two adventure stick out in my character building journey. The first was on the Sunday after Chuti left. I had to change the contract on our rental van and this was supposed to be no big deal. I was to do it on the phone and called Enterprise, but as I could not get through, took the kids and went in to do it in person. Unfortunately, as our credit card had not cleared its payments yet, the previous week’s payment had not gone through for the van. The second card also had not cleared its payments (we keep a relatively low limit). They also did not take debit. The first guy I met at the Sarasota Enterprise, named Branden, was very sweet and kind. He was committed to helping me. Colleen, his co-worker, initially suggested that I take a cab home and come back the next day and try again (we expected the cards would be fine by the next day). I was committed to solving this obstacle that day, as I had 4 kids to run around with and the van was full our stuff.  As soon as Colleen saw how committed I was, she got on board right away. They agreed to take cash, so I went to the one bank machine in the airport and emptied it of cash. I was $163 short of what I owed for the previous week. I felt very conspicuous walking from the bank machine to the enterprise counter with all that cash. Once I mostly cleared the account owed, they tried the credit card again for a deposit on the new account and thankfully that went through. This whole journey took over an hour. I had to call Chuti many a time to verify things. The kids were tired and so was I, but we were all thrilled that we had persevered and overcome the obstacle. This was a great moment for me, because I knew I could manage while Chuti was away. I mean I was confident that I had what it took to manage, but this cinched my confidence, made it more tangible.

The second adventure was the story I dangled in front of you when I started this story. In the RV park we are at, we decided to take their first timer deal which meant we paid ~$199 for the month instead of ~$900/month. Taking this deal means that we do not have a sewer connection. When Chuti was here, he drove the RV to the connection 200 m away and emptied our gray water (sinks and shower) and black water (toilet) tanks every 3 days. We thought about changing to a sewer location in our second month, but the spot we have gives us a lot of space around us and a lot of privacy. We get to run around and play and our area is much quieter. We decided to stay in our spot, the sewer issue was really a non-issue. When Chuti had to leave, he purchased a portable 18 gallon sewer on wheels, which one of our neighbors volunteered to use to empty our tanks. David was a great help, he did this every few days early in the morning and it was something I did not have to think about or worry about. Unfortunately or maybe fortunately for me, David and his wife left a few days ago. It was time for me to venture into the underworld of the SEWER… oooooooooooohhhh!!! Another neighbor offered to help me on my first time doing this. When David had emptied our tank, K had assisted one time and later told me that it was easy and that I was not to worry, he could do it himself. I hugged him and thanked him, but did not really believe that it could be so easy. With the neighbor’s help, we emptied the gray water and I was surprised to see that K had not been exaggerating, it was pretty straightforward. Then the obstacle came. Our black water was blocked. Since David left, I guess, we were trying to get our tank to last the longest and were probably stingy in the use of water. Between the solids and the toilet paper in the tank, there was a block. My neighbor Earl taught me how to flush the tank with a hose and I learned things I have never known before. Unfortunately, we had no luck. Armed with a local yellow pages, I called some plumbers. The one place I talked to told me that it would cost me at least $230 for a special truck to come to empty the tank, as well as the plumber’s fee. Our office gave me the number of a handy man, who does a lot of work around the RV park. I decided to try him out. Wyman Westfall was kind and efficient. He came, he saw, he conquered. So, problem solved. And it only cost me $35. Yes, you read that correctly, $35 not ~$350. What a deal, and with a great smile too. If you are in need of a great RV handyman in Bradenton Florida, call Wyman at 218-205-7514.

What was curious about these events (all I have had to do on my own since Chuti left) is that it has taught me a few things about myself. I have actually impressed myself, I can do this, I can succeed without Chuti here. See, this is the first time Chuti and I have been apart since we were married in 1998 (other than the odd few days here and there for business trips). I have come to realize that I had become dependent on him to do certain things like the sewer and other “manly things”. I’ve never been one of those ‘helpless females’, I’ve generally been independent, but in our partnership, there were just some things I never did. They just fell in his lap and he did them well, so I left it alone. Having to do these things myself has been good for me because it has challenged me to learn and come out of my box. I have come close to a point where I could almost say, dare I say, that I do not need Chuti any more. Oh, don’t look at me like that, I don’t need him (almost there, I haven’t tried to drive the RV yet, among a few other things ), but I choose him and want him beside me. It is liberating not to be dependent, even in a small way.

Being apart, we have really missed each other. I know when he returns soon, we are planning to spend more time together alone. This is another benefit for this time apart. I look forward to the plans we have been discussing for us as a couple. We do go out now, but it is sporadic. We used to have at least a weekly date (which we had been completely committed to) when we were dating, so sporadic dates do not sit too well with us. Also, our trips alone have been sporadic as well. It is time to put into action what we know and say in our hearts, that our partnership is of utmost importance to us and needs to be treated as such. I look forward to a new path.

I had said that I thought that if I had known what I know now, I think I would made different choices. Of course, this is probably true of anyone, I suppose. The reason I feel secure in this knowledge is some events that happened in my life.

One such event was the Electromagnetic class in year 2 or 3 of university. It was a tough course. I had been on the dean’s honor’s list every term and I was determined to stay there. The course felt impossible for me. The professor was tough, a no-nonsense kind of guy. There were 3 tests and the final exam. On the first test, I received an amazing 2.5/40. No, that is not a typo. I got 2 1/2 out of 40. I did not understand the subject, as was obvious. I was used to doing very well in school. I was usually good at tests, but there was that 2.5 staring me in the face, mocking me. I did two things. First I laughed. I laughed at the sheer absurdity of it and I figured it was better than crying. Then, I did something different. I made a decision that day. I was not going to let this course beat me. I was going to get an A, I saw it clearly in my head. I actually choose to practice, without knowing what I know now. I spent countless hours, going through my notes, studying the text book and doing every single question in the book. I practiced and practiced and practiced. The next test came and I felt confident. I had prepared so much and the test was such a pleasure. I actually finished in half the time. I spent the next half checking my work and dressing up and color-cordinating all my graphs and drawings. I spent the third half… just kidding… I wanted to check if you were still with me. I got 40/40. I did that on the next test as well and on the final I got 99%. The professor gave me an A and actually found me and told me how much he really wanted to give me an A+. I was so close. (He had only given out one A+ and a handful of A’s) This was one of my brushes with excellence.

Another such event was when I took a project at the Publich Health Agency of Canada. It was an amazing experience putting myself in the CNPHI project. I took on this assignment to build a software prototype. It was myself and a friend working on the project, with another friend leading the venture. We had 6 weeks, very little help and the clock was ticking. I believed in us and just did my part step by step, bit by bit, even though this could potentially have been out of my league. We worked 20 hour days on many days and pulled it off beautifully. We won the project and the project is still going strong. Of course I am no longer there, I am here.

There are a few other glimpses of my utilizing the art practicing to the heights of excellence, but most of the stories in my life end with my choosing good over great. The last story I will share with you is about Chuti and I. In 2010, we will have been a couple for 20 years. We started when I was 15 and this relationship is a work in progress, I would call it a work of art, where we are striving for excellence every day. Of course, prior to the last 3 years, the excellent choices we made regarding our relationship stemmed from the absolute committment we made to each other and so we made those small decisions daily, practicing well to build a great foundation. I am truly excited about the next 20 years, because now our daily practices are much more delibrate, driven by the vision we are created together of what we want, mainly due to the books and cds in our lives.