In the last week at the RV park we are staying at, a family came to visit (the wife’s parents park almost right behind us). I’ve been writing a lot of tweets lately about how great it is to meet like-minded people. I wrote similar tweets when I meet Amelia and Kyle and family. On Facebook, my friend Barbara asked “But one learns more from being surrounded by those with diverse minds.” I thought this was a great topic for discussion, so here goes.
Let’s start with defining each of these terms;
Like-minded, according to http://dictionary.reference.com/ is “having a similar or identical opinion, disposition, etc.: a like-minded friend.”
Diverse, according to http://www.thefreedictionary.com/ is made up of distinct characteristics, qualities, or elements.
Well, I guess from where I am sitting, this is what I think and have found. In my journey, I generally have an abundance of the diverse-mind group, so I am not too concerned right now that I will not have a mechanism to challenge myself constantly on why I am thinking what I am thinking and doing what I am doing. The diverse-minded people will constantly question me for my own good and keep me humble and constantly vigilant. They will also create a space in which I have to figure out why I believe what I do and therefore fuel my continued pursuit of that path or if I find I am in error in my choice I can then simply ditch that journey. Just to clarify, I will not tolerate the naysayer extremely negative type diverse-thinker for this reason. I have conviction in my choices, although as I have stated I have no problem getting into discussions about things. I love how eloquently these quotes describe my feelings: “If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done.” by Dale Carnegie and “Do what you feel in your heart to be right. You’ll be criticized anyway.” by Eleanor Roosevelt.
Just to clarify, when I say like-minded people, I am talking about people, who like me, are on a journey to find the truth. The people I have deeply connected with have started this journey from different entry points, some from the financial side, some wellness, still others the spiritual path and of course leadership. There are others who started from human rights and liberty path as well, just seeking to know the truth, whatever it is. What fascinates me is that there seem to be these touchstones that this journey for truth takes us on. No matter where you start, you eventually reach all the stones, as long as you continue to seek. Most people I have deeply connected with are continuously thirsty for the truth and willing to journey on.
As I am relatively new in the pursuit of my purpose, living my truth, deepening my spirituality, becoming financial free, and embracing wellness in my consumption and fitness, as well as my ever growing desire to improve as a person, lover, parent and friend, I want to have mentors in my journey to help guide me, encourage me, question me as well as challenge me to grow. I seek companions to share my stories with as well as to learn from theirs. I seek like-minded people, for example, to learn from them how to overcome obstacles I am facing in my journey to live my purpose because they may have faced similar situations. I seek them to help me see that even if I fail today, someone I respect has done what I want to do and so I can pick myself up and continue on through their encouragement. I seek them for connection. I seek them to discuss how they share their unconventional spirituality with their children. The like-minded people I am attracting these days fascinate me partly because of the different and interesting journeys they have taken to get to similar places I am in (spiritually, mentally, politically, financially, and physically). They challenge me because they are ahead of me in some paths and I want to learn from them and I challenge them because they are behind me in other paths and I love to share the information which has helped me progress.
What amazes me is how quickly we connect with these people, we are on the same wavelength, traveling a similar journey. We connect, as in individually, the adults as well as the children. Also, as a couple Chuti and I have found great kinship recently. It is great to have this community.
For me, when I look back at my life, my closest friends have usually been male. I find I connect very easily with guys. I have many women friends, but only recently have I attracted deeper relationships with women who I click with and could literally chat non-stop with for months. When I say chat, I am not interested in discussing the weather or the latest trends or movies or that kind of stuff. I am meeting women with whom I am discussing spirituality, history, the Magna Carta, the law of attraction, changing careers, starting up businesses, buying real-estate, and the list goes on and on. Of course, we also discuss leadership, favorite books, and home-schooling.
Ultimately, I think you need both like-minded and diverse-minded people around you. In the choice between being a quitter, a camper or a climber in the journey of life, I choose climber day in and day out. In order to keep climbing and reaching for bigger and bigger goals, I need like-minded people to stimulate me, encourage me, show me how to avoid or overcome obstacles in my particular path, show me things I thought were impossible or unrealistic, and just challenge me to keep going. I also need diverse-minded people who question me, my motives, my thinking and push me to clarify what it is I want and more importantly why I want it. They help me extract my deepest purpose, by helping me peel off the unwanted layers I will quickly discard under their scrutinizing watch.
At the end of the day, ultimately I want to learn from both groups, so that when I am quiet with myself, I can dig deep inside and find both the encouragement and vision I need to move forward on the right path for me as well as question myself deeply and avoid wasting my time and energy on paths which do not serve my purpose. In essence, I want this journey to lead me to self-mastery.
I will leave you with link to a great blog post by one of my mentors Chris Brady on the very subject of self-mastery, a subject I hope to tackle in a post soon.
“I have many women friends, but only recently have I attracted deeper relationships with women who I click with and could literally chat non-stop with for months.” I too have found this in my life in the past 1 1/2 years. It has been amazing to have met you this past week. I have learned a lot already and am amazed at how many similar “things” we have been interested in. I look forward to more discussions with you… Love and light, Nancy
What “truth” do you seek? I keep on reading the word “financial” in many of your blogs and the word “leadership” but I also see faint hints of Jim Jone’s cult-like” beliefs. I am also finding it fascinating as many 1.5 generation immigrants seem to go through a similar journey that you are describing but this journey is also reminiscent of the 1960′s and early 1970s North American hippie philosophies (of which I was one of them) but the “guts” of the era seem to be missing with the some paranoia thrown in. How do you define leadership? Why is the word “financial” so important to you? Truth is also a matter of perspective. For example, each religion has its own truth. Each movement has its own truth. Life is about a journey. It is also about self-love, humbleness and generosity and kindness to oneself and others. You can be rich and unhappy or you can be poor and happy. You an be physically fit and you will still die. You can be spiritual, religious, sacred and still cruel, immoral and unkind. You can buy into others beliefs and never form your own. Like-minded may help along the way and are much more comfortable and easier to be around. Diversity fuels new ideas and does challenge what one knows to be the status quo. Probably we can all learn if we take a spirit walk like our Aboriginal sisters and brothers if we really want to find whatever truth we are seeking (which is not really the truth just our view of the truth that some of us need to find).
For those of you that don’t know me, I am one of the people that challenge.
This comment requires some time for thinking, but I am working on my response. Will get it out soon.
Are we all not on a path to live life physically, emotionally and spiritually? We each have our own path to take to achieve ecstasy ie. pure love. All our paths are not straight. I think Sareli is discovering and documenting her path through this Blog. Looking for resonance with others of this time and ones before.
I think the resonance of the 60′s and early 70′s are back everywhere. Yoga, Meditation, Local Food Economies, Credit Unions, Independent films and music, fresh juice bars, open source software, fair trade food, sustainable/simplicity living and intentional communities are all growth industries at the moment. These are not run by the corporations they are run by young people working for themselves or old hippies that didn’t settle for a corporate pension. The customers to these industries in part are the old hippies with pension money returning to these values.
No I do not think we are all on a path to live life physically, emotionally and spiritually. I think this is simply a luxury according to those in the affluent Western world who do not have to worry about such things as access to food, shelter, medicine, water, etc., etc., etc. There is some arrogance to believing us humans are on a path to what you call “ecstasy”. Again, only someone living in a wealthy, safe country has the time and energy to contemplate the top of Maslov’s hierarchy.
I lived in the 1960 and 70′s and there is no resonance as the depth of the era is missing. The practice and goal of yoga dates back to the Upanishads, written between 1000-5000 BC. Meditation comes from ancient times. Some historians believe that hunter-gatherer societies may have discovered meditation and Indian tantras mentioned meditation techniques 5000 years ago. Local food economies exist worldwide. They are how people live in most of the world. It was only in the 20th century, with the demise of the family farm in North America that the growth of corporate farms was experienced. In the late 1960s and early ’70s , there was the back to the land movement and the re-start of small farms selling a variety of products to local communities. I can go on and on: credit unions were born in the mid-1800′s in Europe, independent films started in the 1900′s, fresh juice bars, just the fact that you call them fresh juice bars makes me laugh as I can just picture people around the world mocking the crazy North American. They may be what you call “growth” industries but the key word is “industries” nevertheless.
Corporate pensions an interesting concept as many of the post on this blog talk about acquiring financial wealth. Do you know the history of pensions? Cause here I go: In 1987, most Canadian did not retire. When people were physically unable to work (usually older), they were supported by their families. Those without family support turned to local charities or public relief for help. By the early 20th century, farm life and the family support system dissolved. Many elderly poor lived the rest of their lives in poorhouses.
By the end of World War I, new factories favoured the young and jobs that were traditionally done by older people began to disappear. Seniors could look forward to living longer, but many lived in severe poverty and workers who supported aging parents had a hard time saving for their own old age. As early as 1917, employers were encouraged to set-up pension funds. Survivor and disability pensions were created for war veterans and their families. As we all know, in the 1930s, the economy collapsed. The Old Age Pension of 1927 provided the elderly poor with some relief. Unemployment Insurance and Family Allowances were introduced in the 1940s and the Old Age Security Act was passed in 1951. In 1942, the government actually demanded proof that there were pension plans and employee contributions were made tax-deductible. Old Age Security was the first universal pension for Canadians. In 1966, the Canadian Pension Plan was established. To continue our history of discrimination, Aboriginal peoples could not contribute to CPP until 1988. Corporate pensions were introduced by large employers in response to labour unrest, the rise of trade unionism and a popular movement for a national security system.
Retirement for many of our elderly still remains a drastically reduced standard of living for those who have worked long and hard for many years. With the movement to return to the resonance of the 1960s and 70s, I don’t see our Gen x and Yers jumping to take care of their aging parents. Nor do I see the baby boomer parents wanting to give up their independence. Corporate pensions are not the bad guys here. They just assist those that are fortunate enough to have one a little closer to living in a just society.
The most important thing to me right now is my family. I am fortunate enough to stay home with Kyle and the kids. I believe that “families that do things together, stay together” adapted from “The family that prays together, stay together”( we do that too!) FYI – The saying was invented by Al Scalpone, a professional commercial-writer, and was used as the slogan of the Roman Catholic Family Rosary Crusade by Father Patrick Peyton (P. Peyton, All for Her, 1967).
For me becoming an engineer – making a good salary and managing my money well has given Kyle and myself the opportunity to be home with the children. This is what financial freedom has given me, the freedom to do anything I want, anytime I want. I am financially sound and am very happy. With financial freedom, I can also help others, with my time, energy and money.
Yes ,I will take care of my aging parents, this is something I was taught at an early age. How would I be able to do that if I didn’t have some sort of financial security. For me, I also want to take care of myself at a later stage, what if my kids decide to become “poor and happy”, they will not need the extra burden or guilt of not being able look after us. What if we have no kids to take care of us or if they pass away before us? Nothing wrong in having some financial freedom for that.
Being financially free can help society too. As an example, if they are threatening to cut down a forest for development and people protest with a demonstration, wouldn’t it be better to just use your extra money and purchase that land to protect it? No one would have any right to complain after that!
I have heard the saying, “Money is the root of all evil”. Actually money is not, it is the LOVE of money that is the root of all evil. Make money based on purpose and joy and it will come and there is no evil in that! Financial freedom also gives me the ability to live a lifestyle without having to work or rely on anyone else for money.
I cannot speak to everything that was commented about on this piece, especially when we’re talking about history references, etc. There are, however, two points that really stuck with me. The first is the idea that those in poor countries do not contemplate their physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Numerous studies show that people in these areas can be more spiritually connected than most in the wealthy nations. Being right in the thick of things, they are probably more in tune with their physical and emotional states as well. We in the west usually have the luxury of not having to consider the top of Maslov’s hierarchy, because we are complacent and do not appreciate the value that it could bring.
The second is the discussion of financial freedom and how it relates to families no longer taking care of their elderly. The thing is that if a family is poor, they typically raise poor children. It goes on for generations. So even if the families do take care of their elders, they often cannot afford to take advantage of the things that can improve their lives. Higher education for one could help bring an end to generations of poverty within a family. But what does financial freedom mean? It simply means that you have enough income to take care of everything (and everyone) in your life without having to worry about loosing your job or getting sick or dying and leaving nothing to support your family. What it takes to be financial free depends on where you live. The differences across the world are staggering. For me, financial freedom is less about being rich than it is about having the time to do everything I want to do and have my investments support my financial needs. It’s not about materialism. It’s also important to know that it’s not for everyone.
Being financially free is akin to living a healthy life. Some people might question the value of diet and exercise if you could just drop dead at any time anyway. The reason is quality of life. If you want to indulge in an unhealthy lifestyle, that’s up to you. Just do not gripe to the government or corporations when you get sick and the remaining days of your life are spent in horrible agony and suffering. Any of us could end up there, but exercise greatly reduces the risk. So it is with financial freedom. It provides quality of life, where you no longer have to worry about where you are going to get the money to make the next mortgage payment or how you are going to send your kids to university or what to do if you get sick.
Lastly, comparison of todays GenX and Yers to the hippies of the 60′s and 70′s is completely backwards. Yes, in general society has become very lazy and apathetic towards their impact on the world (that includes the hippies of days gone by in many cases) and the programs developed during the hippie generation improved life for millions. That said, I do think that the GenX/Yers are having some of the most profound effects on the world compared to any other time in history. The rapid acceptance of technology and social networking is allowing previously unheard people to speak their mind and put pressure on governments and corporations to mend the errors of past mistakes, mistakes that were often create through short sighted policy during the hippie days. In the past, as an individual you had to be someone important to make an impact. Today, everyone is important and individuals are making things happen at a much higher rate than ever before.
I’ve been working on my response for a while. Sorry it took so long. It’s been a busy two weeks, as well as the fact that I really needed to spend the time to think and clarify my thoughts. Check this mediagraphy out for the growing list of media we have been exposed to which has made us question if it made sense to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. Once exposed to this material, it kept leading us into more areas to question and course correct. We developed a heavy thirst for knowledge in different areas and a questioning attitude. Before being exposed to the material, we were like the characters in Animal Farm by George Orwell….blindly following the story told by the pigs in charge about a happy retirement after many years of hard work, and about the spin on the changes in law etc……how naive we were!
Definitions
A friend wrote to me, “I don’t see the argument on like minded or diverse minded but more of a connection with progressive minded people,” and bingo it hit me. What I am looking for are such people who are taking a journey toward consciousness. We will encourage each other, as well as question and probe each other to journey uncharted territory. What also attracts me to these people is their authenticity.
Maslov’s hierarchy
One doesn’t automatically get the time to pursue the top of Maslov’s hierarchy just because we live in a wealthy nation. There are enough things in today’s society to distract us and keep us from taking the time to realize the top of Maslov’s hierarchy. One has to choose to say no to the distractions and thereby create the luxury of time to discover the top of Maslov’s hierarchy. As a society I read that we are busier than ever. Busy about what? In a lot of cases….nothing!!! As Henry David Thoreau said “It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”
As Kyle pointed out, people in third world countries can and do contemplate the top of Maslov’s hierarchy. I grew up in the third world and I can say that despite the lack of things (we had love, family and the necessities), I really felt I grew up with so many advantages in terms of the freedom of creativity and quiet. These things shaped me in many indescribable ways, most indelibly in my spiritual thinking. I have very early memories of spiritual questions and deep contemplation from the age of six.
Status Quo
I welcome diverse-thinkers because they have cultivated the most exciting journeys I have embarked upon. I am not looking to be comfortable and stagnant. As I said before, I choose to be a climber, in the choices between quitter, camper and climber. I agree that diversity fuels new ideas and does challenge what one knows to be the status quo. I am always wanting to challenge the status quo. I know this to be true of myself when I was younger and now.
Barb, I am curious about your journey in the 1960’s and early 1970s as a North American hippie and what you learned and whether it still keeps you a climber. Maybe we should do a whole other interview on this subject.
Spirit Walk
I plan to learn more about the spirit walk Barb mentioned that our Aboriginal sisters and brothers take. It sounds like something I would want to embrace. I will probably write an article about it, after I have talked to some people who have taken this walk.
I have always been attracted to the stories and knowledge from various religions. I knew deep in my core that Christianity could not hold all the answers for me, only some parts of the puzzle. This intuition was strong even from the tender age of 6 years and has only grown stronger with time. I am attracted to the teachings of Buddha, Jesus, Gandhi, Indigenous people’s instinct about spirit in animals and plants, teachings in Auyurvedic medicines, and Energy (the chakras), among other things.
Financial Freedom
Barb asked about why “financial” is important to us. As Kyle and Amelia commented,, having the money we need and want means we are independent of the system, we have choices, we have time to be together (this is important to us), following what we truly want to do, not what we have to do. We have options to help others as well. Financial intelligence is still something we are working on, but we have come a long way in the last two to three years. We do not want to be slaves to debt. We met Amelia and Kyle, who as you can read on their blogs are also on this journey. They are ahead of us in the knowledge and experience of creating passive income. We have been learning from them and the media they have access to on how we can implement passive income to give us more choices, freedom and time.
Leadership
Barb asked me what Leadership means to me: Here is a great definition from a book I read by John Maxwell titled 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell sums up his definition of leadership as “leadership is influence – nothing more, nothing less.” This moves beyond the position defining the leader, to looking at the ability of the leader to influence others – both those who would consider themselves followers, and those outside that circle. Indirectly, it also builds in leadership character, since without maintaining integrity and trustworthiness, the capability to influence will disappear. What I want is to develop more influence with my kids and lead my family. As I slay my character issues, I want to expand my influence with others to inspire them to live a life filled with purpose and a life yearning to touch consciousness.
Truth
I agree that every culture, religion, person has his/her own truth. I just know deep in my core that some things are part of THE TRUTH. I don’t know what that is yet. For now, I think things like gravity, and the law of attraction are part of THE TRUTH, but when I reach consciousness, I may know different. Of course, the one TRUTH I know is that there is a source/consciousness and that we are all connected, one with Source. We’re connected to each other, we’re connected to nature, and we’re responsible for what we do about it.
Questions
We are constantly reading, listening, digesting and questioning. The questions we are and were wrestling with are these, for example: Why should both Chuti and I work 8 hours a day (especially when there are other ways to make a life), put our kids in daycare and be apart for most of the day, week, month, and year and do this year after year? Why not work fewer hours? Why not work on something we absolutely love? What do we love, what is our purpose? Why not be with our family more? Why not dance to a different drum? Why not travel, since this is one of the things we yearn to do? Why not help our kids pursue tennis seriously as they say they want that at this time? Do we really want to work to pay interest on a mortgage for a huge house? If we want to travel, do we really need the dream-house? Why not simplify, simplify, simplify and not be so busy? Why not simplify and remove attachment from material things? Why let fear dictate what we do or do not do? Why not stand courageous and do what we know is right? Why not home school, so that we can spend more time together, and have more time for violin and tennis and still time left for family? Why wait for catastrophic knocks on our doors, also known as turning points, to force us to question our lives and then accept change grudgingly? Why not question now? Why let ourselves be trapped or numb? Why not free ourselves? Why not focus more inward and teach our children to do so when they are young? Why not learn more from our children because they are closer to Consciousness? And more and more….
Jim Jones
I went online to look up Jim Jones and his beliefs and what I read depicted him as a socialist among many other things. I definitely do not fall in with his beliefs and I am definitely not a socialist, but I am curious what Barb read from my entries which demonstrate “faint hints” for her.
Sareli, your response to this series of comments is one of the best I have ever read. I look forward to the day that my writings will have as much depth and value for others as yours have with this post. Thank you.
Kyle, I really appreciate your comment and compliment. I agonized over my response for the last few days especially, as I wanted to be clear. Coming from you, the compliment means a lot because I think you write very well. You obviously think through your posts very thoroughly and are succinct as well as deep. This is a talent I am working on emulating.
Sareli I am just back from the Philippines and will be in Ottawa in a couple of weeks. I will respond after, I also, want to give some thoughts to your comments before I reply in detail but here are some off the top of my head. As you know, I have different experiences in life from most people and this provides a lens into many diverse viewpoints. Have you ever heard of the term recovering Catholic? Your current “religious” “spiritual” views are similar to that of a recovering Catholic? In terms of living to work or working to live, the philosophy is a dichotomy world-wide – each with their pros and cons. As I always told my kids, choose something you love to do and accept no less. My work has never been a job. It has been my passion. Where I live changes as needed or as I become bored – paying a mortgage is the least of my worries. I am more concerned with leading, which I do and which I have significantly impacted systems, organizations, and most importantly people. More later.
Something dawned on me today that I cannot believe didn’t come to mind before. The idea that diverse-minded is different from like-minded is the wrong point of view, in my opinion. I believe most if not all of my like-minded friends are, in fact, very diverse-minded. We have view points on many topics and have many varied life experiences that help us see a bigger picture for our current and future lives. I think a clearer point is to look at the differences between diverse-minded people and narrow-minded people. I hope to never be labeled narrow-minded because my life is touched by so many people of varying backgrounds that it helps to keep my eye, ears and mind wide open.
Kyle I like that you are seeing this viewpoint as diverse-minded is about openness to different ideas.