Live Your Passionate Life with Amelia’s Example

I would like to introduce you to a very special friend Amelia. Amelia was a classmate of my husband’s brother in Engineering. I guess you could say we knew of each other for years before we actually met and became friends. We met, quite by accident, at a baptism in 2008.

We talked very briefly, but those few minutes were enough for us to click. We didn’t see each other for a while, but I started reading her blog. Topics on her blog confirmed to me my initial feeling that we were on a similar path of self-discovery, retiring young, prioritizing time with our family, and so on and so forth. I contacted her on her topic about home schooling and our relationship started. In fact it soared. I never told her this (but I guess she will read it here), but the first week we started hanging out together (the whole family as well as Amelia and Kyle and myself and Chuti) we saw each other four times in one week. It felt like I was starting a new romantic relationship, the excitement that was in my heart at getting to know them. Meeting like-minded people is a high I will never tire of. It was really special. Since then, they have become a very important part of our lives. So, here is my friend Amelia. When you read her story, I am sure you will be inspired. I just hope it will light a fire under you to live your best and passionate life with her example.

1. Name 5 books which changed you and how?

At first, I was going to say the bible but it hasn’t really changed me, the bible has actually molded me into what I am today.  The many teachings from the bible is what I have based many of my life choices and decisions on today.

So, here are the 5 other books that have changed my adult life.

A. Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T Harv Eker

The only reason I read this book was because Kyle had decided that WE were going take the course offered by Harv Eker in May 2005( while I was 8 months pregnant) and the course was based on this book and he said that it would be a good idea to read it before attending.  After I read it, I was really excited about learning how to have a millionaire mind.  Till this point, I had the mindset of just working at a job and living our life, whatever ways our salaries provided.  After reading this book and attending the followup seminar, I realized that I was limiting my beliefs, I was capable of so much more.  This book was the turn around point for me in what I could do personally and what I had to offer to others.

B. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

I remember picking up the book many years ago and then reading a few pages and then having a really hard time continuing reading it.  Needless to say, I didn’t finish reading it then.  About four years ago, I picked it up again and when I started reading it, I couldn’t put it down.  It is one of those books that you have to be ready to read.  It has so much to do with your mind set.  Our minds are powerful tools, I have learned that that thinking about being rich is not enough, we have to work towards it and plan it out.  Rich doesn’t only mean only monetary, it includes personality and life.

C. Ways of the warrior by Dan Millman

I saw Dan Millman at a seminar about 3 years ago and was very mesmerized by his presentation.  When I found out about his books that he had written, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it.  His story is about courage and persistence.  His story is being physically broken and then beating the odds and being even better.  He is living proof of what is possible physically and mentally.  He inspires me to work harder towards what I want.  We have to take action or nothing will happen.

D. Positive Personality Profiles by Robert Rohm

When Sareli told me about this book, I was really intrigued.  While I was reading the book, I discovered my own personality and gave me a better understanding of why I do the things I do.  I was also able to understand my kids personalities a little better, why they do the things they do and how to deal with their differences.  What kinds of situations they shine in or what they shun away from and why.  There is less frustration for me when they do certain things, as I now understand their personalities and their uniqueness.

E. The Passion Test by Janet Attwood

Understanding what your purpose in life was not as clear cut as I thought it was.  I lived for my family.  Kyle often asked me what are you going to do when the kids leave home?  I never had an answer for him.   Going though “The Passion Test” has helped me understand my purpose in this life, what I wanted for myself, what I want to achieve and what I have to offer.

I realize now what is important for me and many of my decisions are aligned with my passions.

2. What are your 5 biggest Aha Moments?

This was the question that stumped me the most.  I knew though if I just sat down and thought about it, I would remember the many Aha Moments in my life.  They are there somewhere in my memory bank.

The first one was went I had my first miscarriage.  We had only been married for a year and we hadn’t planned this pregnancy.  It took me a while to really accept this pregnancy, I had plans for my life and it didn’t include a baby, not yet anyways.  It sounds selfish but I had planned to stay home once I had kids and I wasn’t ready to quit my job just yet.  3 months later, after had I started making plans to include a baby in my life, I had a miscarriage.  That was a traumatic time for me.  I had just lost a part of me and at this moment, I realized that God had given me a second chance.  This could have been the reason I was able to overcome this loss and move forward with my life and my career as an Engineer.

When the boys were one and three, they both had a nap and woke up at the same time.  Of course when one child cried, they both did.  I remember sitting them both down, one on each lap, soothing them and laughing.  At that moment, I knew that was the only way not to get stressed.  If you can’t handle it, just laugh about it.  It got me through that “out of control” moment and I have learned to use laughter on many other occasions.

When Matthew was about 5 years old, we we noticed that he seemed to be lying a lot.  We couldn’t figure out why he was doing this.  While we were at a seminar, we spoke to David Woods, the motivational speaker about it and he gave us some great insight.  He told us that we were a little too strict with Matthew and Matthew didn’t want to disappoint us.  He lies to us thinking that is what we wanted to hear.  When I heard this, I was devastated, I felt like an awful parent.  This was a turning point in my parenting skills and I am glad happy to add that I have not had the same issues with Natalie or Andrew.

When we decided to leave Ottawa, we only had a week to arrange for packers and say good bye to all my friends.  Unfortunately we didn’t have a chance to say good bye to many friends.  Obviously when the day came to leave, I left with a very heavy heart.  Doors hadn’t seem to have closed.  The only material thing we had left in Ottawa was our home that hadn’t sold.  It seemed really funny that the home wasn’t selling with the good housing market at that time.  Three months later, I realized that in my mind, I was still attached to Ottawa and the house and hadn’t let go.  I decided at that moment that I had to let go and printed a picture of our house, put the words sold across it with a date put it on my desk where I would see it everyday.   It sold a couple of day shy of that date!

Another Aha moment was about a year ago, I realized that I was so unhappy at my job while I was working at Nortel 8 years earlier.  I felt sad for myself not knowing how I felt while I was working and just continuing to do it day after day.  Since that realization, I know that we have so many choices, we do not have to settle for less and I live my life that way.

3. If you were to meet your 16 year old self today, what advice would you give her, from your vast experience, to help her?

Act on your desires.  Do not let anyone talk you out of what you want to do no matter how crazy. When you make a decision, ride it out, give it a shot.  If it doesn’t work out, you learn from the experience and move on, correct and continue.  There are so many naysayers out there, even if they don’t realize they are saying when they give their opinion. Stick to your gut feelings and just do it.

4. If you had a Harry Potter Mirror of Erised (it shows you your hearts most feverent desires) – what would you see?

Waking up every morning next to Kyle , being loved by him.  Spending the days with Kyle and the kids, be it playing or learning together.  Being able to inspire others to live life to their fullest.

5. Other than your profession of Engineering, what other careers have you had and what was your motivation in pursuing these different choices?

Direct Sales Consultant/Manager with Tupperware Canada:  I have always been a big fan of Tupperware.  When we first moved to Ottawa, I remember seeing a Tupperware kiosk in the mall and thinking when I decide to stay home with the kids, I think I will sell Tupperware, anyone can do it. It would give me the flexibility of staying home with the kids and getting out of the house and making money too.  Well, when Matthew was 5 months old, I was invited to a Tupperware party and after the presentation, I approached the lady presenting and told her I wanted to sell Tupperware.  In my mind, I thought why pay retail when I can get a discount on my Tupperware and make money along the way.  I did this for 6 years and really enjoyed it.  I was able to stock my kitchen with cheap Tupperware, made some money and have met some really amazing people along the way.  People from all walks of life which I would never have met otherwise.  Some of which have become really good friends.

School Bus Driver: After having 3 kids, and with Kyle’s change of career, I found selling Tupperware a little too much work and didn’t really want to leave all the kids at home so I decided to start driving a school bus.  It worked really well.  I was able to take the kids with me on the bus and didn’t have to worry about baby sitting or worrying if I was going to be late coming home from work.  After a 2 week training, I got my school bus license and drove for a year and a half.  The kids went to work with me everyday.  When I did my afternoon route, Natalie and Andrew both slept on the bus so they got their afternoon naps and I was able to squeeze in some reading too.  It worked out so well.

6. How did becoming a mother change you?

Before being a mum, I worked and took many courses to improve myself technically and for my job.  I also craved a lifestyle that was free of time-lines and constraints and having the flexibility to do things at the spur of the moment.  I guess I could have just quit my job but that would have been too easy!  Now that I am a mum, I am still learning with a different purpose, I learn to improve myself for me and for the family.  My life is more satisfying.  The kids bring much joy into my life, their little personality quirks, comments and watching them grow. I am more confident now, I  have a more definite purpose in my life.  I am very conscious about my thoughts and actions as I have dependents now.  All the decisions are not just about Kyle and I anymore, it is about us, the family.

7. How did you start on the path of self-development? You have told me that your husband started and it look a little while for you to join his thinking. Why, what was your reluctance? How did the different thinking affect your marriage?

Kyle had read a few books about self development and investing and I do not remember him discussing it with me.  He talked about the books and ideas with his friends but I never thought of picking up the books.  The reluctance wasn’t so much in learning as I seemed to be preoccupied with my life.  While he was learning about self-development and investing in properties, I was home learning to be a mum and working on my Tupperware business.  We were both on different pages and on different paths of success.  When he found out about the “Secret of the Millionaire Mind” book, he realized that unless we both went on the path of self-development together, he would never succeed.  Hence our first course together, I learnt what he learnt and understood what and why he was thinking the way he did. As we choose our lifestyles and spend more time together, working together towards the same goals for our life and businesses, our marriage has strengthened.  I feel closer to him, we discuss things more and we do a lot more together.  With jobs, we had separate professions and working dealing with different people.  Now we have the same business associates, common friends and a lot more in common.

8. Why did you decide to home school? What has been some of your challenges and joys? What kind of feedback have you got: the most interesting, the most surprising and the most bizarre.

Kyle and I talked about home schooling even before we had kids.  We talked to different people and got their point of views and ultimately when it was time for Matthew to go to school, I decided to sent him to public because he would have an opportunity to learn French which I knew very little of.  At that time I had a new born and a 2 year old at home and I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope.  Back in January 2009, I met a couple of people who were both home schooled and was amazed with their personalities and knowledge. As the year went on, I thought more about it and did some research into it and discussed it with more people.  When we purchased a Mobile Home Park in Georgia in the summer, we decided to go down as a family and live there for a little while and that started our home school journey.  When we returned to Winnipeg, many people asked us to if we were going to send the kids back to public school.  I gave the kids the choice, Andrew definitely didn’t want to go back to regular school as he loved the idea of school in the morning and playing in the afternoon.  I wasn’t too sure about Matthew as he said he wanted to be home schooled by sometimes he is reluctant to do his school work.  I was really sure though when he came up to me one morning and said that he had a nightmare.  He said that I took him back to regular school.  At that moment, I knew I was doing the right thing and he was enjoying it.

Some of the challenges of home schooling is the age differences.  The kids are 4, 6 and 8, it is hard to sit down with all of them and work on the different materials.  Matthew being independent at 8 feels a little neglected at times when I have to spend more time with Andrew who is just learning to read and can not work on his workbooks by himself.  Matthew also complains about Natalie too about her not doing work.  I guess he forgets that she is only four and there is not as much to do for her.  Sometime starting work in the morning is a little nerve wrecking as they basically go from the breakfast table to the work table with some protest.  This comes mostly from Matthew who had been in regular school for 4 year already.  Other than those few things that are working out themselves slowly, there is so much joy in home schooling.  Watching you child learn to read, is like the progress when they first start to walk!  Knowing that you helped them along is so satisfying.  The thing that amazes me the most is their memory.  What they learn and remember from stories, history, poetry and the discussions that they have about the different topics.  Now I understand why teachers feel so fulfilled in their professions.

Meting other home school parents has shown me that anything is possible.  Not only are the kids learn a second language, they are learning a 3rd and 4th and music.  I sent Matthew to public as I thought I couldn’t offer him more but now I realize that I can offer him so much more by home schooling.

I have received many different feedback from home schooling some positive and some negative.  The most common question now is “when are you sending them back to regular school”.  It surprises me how many people ask that. It is almost like they don’t trust me to teach my own kids.  I would only want the best for my kids and would never home school if I didn’t think I was doing a good enough job.

The most common comment is the worry about the kids not getting a chance to socialize.  The one that was the most bizarre was when my teacher friend said that they need socialization to experience different situation and deal with classmates, teachers and eventually their boss. She also said that they need to be exposed to peer pressure and maybe be even bullying. I was in shock. Why would I put my child through that. I would prefer to teach my children confidence and independence and respect for others. Fear doesn’t help. The child will not reach their full potential with fear.  A child’s self confidence is more important, they should never have to use force or power to work with others.  My kids get a lot of socialization with each other and I have many friends with kids that they play with too.  Another interesting thing is that she knew that if she taught her kids, that they would actually get a better education.

9. How do you like living with your parents as you plan your move to Costa Rica?

I love living with my parents.  Kyle and I have a very good relationship with my parents.  They have been really patient with us and very supportive of our decisions.  Some days we have our disagreements which are usually minor and they pass.  We are very comfortable living here, some days though, I miss having my own place, somewhere to put my things and to call my own.

My parents also been helpful for baby sitting when we decide to go out without the kids.  Unfortunately we do not often take advantage of our built in baby sitters.  I am glad that we have been in Winnipeg for the last couple of years, my parents have both been through some medical issues and it has worked out that we have been here for help and support.

10. Why are you moving to Costa Rica? Also, tell me about your vision for your life in Costa Rica? What do you see your days being like?

We have always wanted to move somewhere warm and experience a different culture.  I actually had a job offer in Malaysia almost 15 years ago but due to logistics I couldn’t take the job.  About 10 years ago, Kyle talked about buying some property in Panama but was unsure about the validity of the properties and since we didn’t speak the language, we were hesitant about investing.  There were also nay sayers who shared them opinions and helped us decide not to invest.

Two years ago we met a guy while on course promoting his properties in Costa Rica, we knew it was legitimate and knew this was our opportunity, so we made the plunge and purchased a piece of property on the Southern Pacific side of Costa Rica.  We had never been to Costa Rica before and always thought that it was too expensive so were very excited about making the purchase after a visit there.  We went during the rainy season just to make sure I could handle it.  I know I would love the warm weather, I just wanted to make sure I could survive the rainy weather.

Initially my plan was to put the kids in public school system so that they would learn Spanish and be immersed in the local culture.  Now that I have been home schooling for the last 6 months.  I have found other ways of immersing them in the culture.   My vision for my life there would be similar to our life here.  Mainly spending time with the kids, learning and exploring.   Our daily activities would also include tending to my vegetable garden.  One of my other passions is to help kids that are less fortunate, I envision spending time working with others and contributing to the society. We really enjoy traveling too so being in Costa Rica would also give us the opportunity to explore the many surrounding countries.