I would like to introduce you to my friend Nenette. I met her about 5 years ago after I had worked with her husband for a few months and he thought we might get a long. We planned a play date. We don’t see each other as often as I would like, but I do enjoy her blog. You can find her at http://www.lifecandy.net/. She is a very interesting person, super funny, and gorgeous to boot. Without further delay, hot off the presses, here are the questions she answered for me and you:
1. Name 5 books which changed you and how?
Oh, heavens, trying to narrow my life-changing books list down to 5 was tough, since I believe everything I read tweaks me to some degree. And I don’t think I’ve read a book I didn’t like… even the real stinkers! But anyway, for you Sareli, I tried, so here we go…
1: The Hundred and One Dalmatians
It also taught me how to be a good actress because after 3 days of being sick, I was already feeling better, but since I wanted to stay home and finish the book, I faked being still sick, which is really easy when you’ve just been sick so you totally know how to continue to act convincingly sick. Yeah, totally worth the risk of getting caught playing hooky — which I DIDN’T! Huzzah! Anyway, you should totally read it. Oh, and kids, don’t skip school!
2: The Bridge Across Forever by Richard Bach
Because of this book, I can truly say that my husband (who lent me the book in the first place) is my best friend, which ironically, all my friends think is super-corny. I can’t win, I tells ya!!!
3: Clear your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston
4: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
5: The Ninety Days of Genevieve by Lucinda Carrington
2. What are your 5 biggest Aha Moments?
1: On February 1, 2000, the day after my last day of working as an engineer, I realized that it was okay to hate being an engineer. This was tough because I was raised to believe that my career affected what people thought of me. Being an engineer, especially in the Filipino community, was very prestigious. If everyone found out I didn’t want to be an engineer, I thought I’d be considered a failure, that people wouldn’t love me anymore.
Ugh, who wants that kind of pressure?!!! Not me, not anymore. My realization freed me to pursue other more fulfilling avenues.
2: About 3 months after I moved back to Winnipeg, I realized and finally accepted that I’m a morning person. This may seem trivial, but it has a major impact on my well-being, on how productive I am, and how I deal with others. I would get my best work done in the morning, and I’d shut off at about 4pm. Now, when it’s after 4pm and I turn into Tired Cranky Nenette, I can either avoid people or tell them that they need to avoid me or risk being stabbed by the nearest pointy instrument.
3: When I first started university, I realized that being a Filipino wasn’t a detriment, but an asset. In high school, I felt like a FOB, but in university, I was unique and special, with a rich heritage from an exotic homeland. It made me appreciate my ancestry in a way I’d never done before.
4: When my first child was born, I realized that my parents had parenthood all backwards. The truth of parenthood is that my children don’t owe me anything. Okay, I gave them life, but they didn’t ask for it. They’re here because *I* wanted to have children. Without them, I wouldn’t be a mother, and for that, I owe them everything.
5: April 27, 2009, when one of my posts for the Canada Moms Blog got picked up for syndication (I’ve had 2 more posts picked up since then), I realized that, “Hey, I guess I just might not suck as a writer.” It made me think that I could do this for the rest of my days.
3. If I remember correctly, you and your husband had a pact of one of you working at a time so the other could pursue their passions or something else . How did you guys come up with this unique plan and how did it work out? Would you advise others to do this?
Ah, yes, the unspoken “I’m done working for my 6 months, it’s you’re turn now” pact. It came about rather organically, or perhaps “accidentally” is a better word. At the time, we came to the realization that being engineers made neither of us really happy. Unfortunately (for lack of a better word), engineers made a lot of money, and we were good at it. But Winnipeg isn’t exactly the mecca for techies like Ottawa is, so we could only get short-term contract jobs. When one would start to burn out, the other would start looking. Yes, I would definitely recommend it, but only for mobile couples who have no responsibilities (ie mortgages, children, etc.) other than themselves.
As I said, it was, for the most part, an unplanned, unspoken pact… which led us to also realize that we could read each others’ minds — or at least, read the look of “if you don’t find a job now, and let me quit, I will stab you with my very expensive mechanical pencil”.
4. If you had a Harry Potter Mirror of Erised (it shows you your hearts most deepest desires) – what would you see?
I would see myself, husband by my side, surrounded by my grown children, lots of little grandchildren, in-laws, etc. in the garden outside my less than 1000 sq.ft. eco-friendly home. We’re having a BBQ. Oh, and my computer cybernetically implanted in my brain, so it’ll be “all blogging, all the time”! Woot!
5. Would you write your Erotica books under your name or a mask? And would you be the heroine (secretly of course!!)
I would definitely use a nom de plume! Oh, just watch, I’ll change my mind just as the book’s being published! But really my anonymity would depend on the age of my children. If they would be embarrassed to have a mother that wrote “literary porn”, it would be pen name time.
No, my heroine has never been and never will be me. And I’m not being coy! In the stories I’ve already written, my heroines have been women I’d like to be. She is buff and athletic. Which I’m not. She’s business savvy. Which I’m not. She knows how to ride a horse. Which is TOTALLY not a euphemism. And so on.
6. How did becoming a mother change you? BTW, I loved your article: A note to pre-baby me.
This is hard because I don’t really remember my life before I had kids. What I do know is that EVERYTHING matters now. I take nothing for granted, because everything has an impact on my children. My health, my husband’s health, the things we do with and without the kids, how happy we are, how we say things, the things we bring into our home, the people we expose our children to, even the things we decide not to introduce into our lives, all have the power to affect my children. I try not to be the Crazy Fanatical Mom — I managed to keep myself from screaming when I saw my babies eat dirt — but I am careful.
It also made me appreciate fashionable yoga pants and silk screen printed t-shirts, a wash-and-go hairstyle, and dual purpose lip products. Taking care of kids may come before taking care of myself, but I don’t have to look like crap while I’m doing it!
7. What is the story behind why you decided to start blogging? Was it hard to start or the most natural thing in the world for you?
Can you believe I really didn’t have any interest in blogging for a REALLY LONG TIME? I’ve had my own sites for years, but as far as I was concerned, blogging was too “over-sharing” for as private a person as myself.
That all changed in 2006, when I started practicing Calorie Restriction (CR) or The Longevity Diet. Many of the people involved in various CR research studies had blogs to share their progress, many of which I read and commented on rather obsessively. Okay, I stalked these poor healthy people. Anyway, the CR blogging community — in what was probably their polite way of saying “Shut up with the long-winded comments already!” — encouraged me start my own blog, so I did.
By that October, I’d fallen off the diet wagon, but I was completely hooked on blogging. I’d bought the lifecandy.net domain name, and my blog became the online place where I keep all my stuff.
Was it hard? Oh, yah! When you think that blogging and regular novel writing are the same, for sure. When I took off the corset off my brain, let it all hang out, and found my voice, it became easy. And fun.
8. Have you always been so naturally funny and quirky or have you grown into that? Tell me some stories.
I’m totally blushing from that compliment! I’ve always wanted to amuse my readers, but never thought I was really funny, so thanks!
You see, I grew up in a very staid and sober household. We didn’t make jokes or tease each other, because my parents are easily offended by the most benign thing. Seriously, it was like living with the Incredible Hulk. One moment, it’s all smiles and giggles, then in a matter of microseconds, your father’s green, looks like Lou Ferrigno, and is ready to rip your head off all because you teased him that his pants clashed. And you’re wondering what happened.
Anyway, all of that changed when I started dating my husband, who showed me that life shouldn’t be so serious or… well, boring. I learned quite easily that it’s fun to be a little bizarre, a little different, a little crazy at times. I think I have a natural quirk to my personality, but it didn’t come out until I gave it the OK to do so.
I wish I could tell stories about my evolution to funniness, but it was such a gradual awakening. Plus, I don’t think there are any realtime incidents of “hey, Nenette’s funny!” Unless you count the time when I told a friend that a bacon-weave is like an orgasm on a baking sheet. And that was just this summer.
Anyway, I think I’m funnier on paper than I am in person. And I completely suck at public speaking. I’ve done it, but I’ve never done it with the same kick-ass-ness (yes, today, it’s a word) as I do with some of my writing.
9. You have lived in a number of places, what did you love about each and why did you choose to come back to Winnipeg?
Only 4 places…
1: Manila – I was born there. I don’t remember much from when I lived there as we moved to Canada when I was 3, but we went back when I was 10, and I remembered feeling very much at home. It was the sense of family and roots, which was hard to avoid because I had 10 aunts and uncles and 30 (at the time) cousins, and they were everywhere. Definitely wouldn’t live there again, but I know it’s a place where I can call home.
2: Hilo – If I didn’t have kids and if Hawaii decided it wanted to part of Canada instead of the United States, I’d live there again. I loved that it was a small town — much like the town in the TV show Northern Exposure — but it was metropolitan enough to have a major airport, so island hopping was easy. And it hosted the International Hula Festival every single year. The friendly people and the gorgeous weather were easily the icing on this pineapple and coconut cake.
3: Vancouver – I loved the scenery, the shopping, the people-watching, and the restaurants! So many of our friends and family live there. I’d move back there if I didn’t need to buy a house. It appealed to me visually. Monetarily, not so much.
4: Winnipeg – We returned because Vancouver was expensive, and Nortel was waving loads of cash in front of our faces to make us move back and be engineers here. Oh, we always knew we’d come back, but that was going to be 5 years later, when we wanted to get married, have kids, buy a house. But 2 years later, when Nortel once again waved loads of cash in front of our faces to get us to move to Ottawa, we said no. Oh, yeah, and it’s cheap. Being a stay-at-home-mom in a one income family would’ve been an impossibility anywhere else in Canada. But yeah, for the most part, it’s home.
10. What advise would you give people to live a sweet life like you do? What 5 things would you say has helped you have such a sweet existence?
I think the key to living the sweet life is avoiding any kind of bad stress, whether it be psychological, emotional, or physical stress. And to get there, I do the following 5 things…
1: I don’t worry about what others think. As long as I’m a good person, and treat others with honesty and respect, I am who I am. No one has to like what I like or even approve of the way I do things. Everyone’s different, and I accept that in myself and in others. And really, it’s an asset — can you imagine a world where everyone’s the same? It would be fine if we were all gorgeous south/southeast Asian moms, right? But if we were all large sumo wrestler types, ew.
2: I don’t carry grudges. Really, if I stayed mad at people, it becomes more of burden on me than anyone else. This comes down to the whole “nobody’s perfect” scenario. I’m sure I’ve offended people, but when I’m sorry, I mean it and move on hoping I am truly forgiven. I do the same for others.
3: I keep negative people out of my environment. And I mean ALL negative people, including family. Life is too short to waste by surrounding yourself with people who make you feel bad and unsupported. And really I don’t want to spend my day wanting to stab the people around me. It’s SO very unproductive.
4: I always take my vitamins. At least 4000mg of Vitamin D especially. I’m a mom, so technically I don’t sleep. Ditto with exercise. But I ALWAYS take my vitamins. And on days I don’t, I totally feel it. I’m sluggish and ineffective. And cranky. Double that with PMS, and I end up with a husband who seriously considers living in the freezing cold garage for the next week more luxurious than staying at home with delightful me.
5: I have a creative outlet. My life took a big positive leap forward when I started blogging. When you’re a stay-at-home-mom, sometimes your most intelligent conversation revolves around trying to convince your 3-year-old child that she has to wear more than just underpants to her next play-date — which actually happened to me 2 years ago. So, it’s nice to share my deep meaningful thoughts, as well as my shallow brain-farts, with other adults.
11. Why Hula? How did you start and what hooked you?
I must confess that I didn’t choose the hula. I can’t really say it chose me either. It was rather viciously thrust upon me by my parents when I was the tender age of 6. Can you imagine the hula viciously thrust upon anyone?! Yeah, well, if anyone can do it, it would be my parents.
So, anyway, I studied under Mabelle Perez de Tagle of the Kealoha Polynesian Dancers. I then performed at various weddings, cultural events, and even on my hula school’s float for the Red River Exhibition parade. Oh, yeah, I got around! But I didn’t consider my hula education complete until I lived in Hawaii, and learned its history firsthand and how vitally important it is to the rich Hawaiian culture. I will always love and perform the hula for its strength and beauty, its historical significance, and its ability to share what’s in the heart of such a loving people.
It’s so much more than coconut bras and grass skirts!
12. What are some of your secret passions you want to follow? Travel? A new business? What lurks beneath waiting to have an opportunity to blossom?
Well, shoot, girlfriend, if I told you it wouldn’t be a secret now, would it?! But seriously, I play much of my life by ear. For now, the plan is to expand my online presence and become pro, especially when both my kids are at school full-time, which will be in September. Right now, my daughter is kindergarten, which is only half-day. Home improvement, to make my house more green and eco-friendly, is also high on our passion list.
I’d also like to take the family to see this lovely country of ours by train, visit The Philippines where I was born, and perhaps tour the countries of Europe.
Oh, and I’d love to be a size 4-5 again.
13. You mention in your blog that you proposed naked with a watch ring. What other ideas did you discard before selecting this one? Why did you select your actual option? What would have been your fantasy proposal from Roomie? And what would Roomie have actually done if he had proposed?
You know, I really had no other ideas. That’s what I wanted to do. Roomie was in no rush to get married, and I realized that if I wanted to get married, I had to do the asking. I’ve never been one to wait for my prince to sweep me off my feet. I’m gutsy and like to be in control over certain things, so I relished the chance to make the start of our engagement fun, interesting, and something very typical of me.
Thinking back now, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My fantasy proposal always involved a ring, someone asking, and somebody being naked. So, mission accomplished!
excellent interview Sareli. I liked Nenette’s answer to question 10